As Indian statistics will tell you ever so proudly, over 60 percent of India is still rural – which means plenty of mud and barely negotiable, heavily rutted, cart-tracks. For the more civilized part of the country we have genuine lunar surfaces that are, in jest, ever so popularly called roads. And it only gets worse when the mighty gods above us decide to give us a holy bath. For, at most times, a bath it is not but more a swim. That's when you realise that your premium two-wheel drive saloon with a racy engine and responsive handling and all that marketing spiel you received at the showroom are just no good. You need something raw and brutish. Something built tough to take on the jungle with a hearty laugh, without breaking a sweat. And of course, something that you can take out on the road and when ever so often you run into those maniacal cabbies, you can flex those brawny muscles and put the fear of solid steel in them.

Think hard. Do you really care about cornering ability at insane speeds when you are destined to meet a Grand Canyon right at the apex anyway? Think about the bent wheels, damaged suspension bits and jarred passengers and the physical trauma your premium saloon will go through. Now say hello to the world of diesel SUVs with genuine off-road ability. Big, ponderous and yet, somehow, so sensible in this world where miniaturization and small are buzzwords.

We want big fists, and our choice - the Ford Endeavour and the recently launched, face lifted, Tata Safari, with a new 3.0-litre common-rail turbo-diesel. Both are big, heavy oil-burners with traditional ladder-frame construction, built to make even wimps feel macho and indestructible. And they can go off-road while being chased by dinosaurs. Wait! That was Jurassic Park. Obviously, you're going to be gobbled by Mr T-Rex in an instant if you drive one of these. They both lack that top-end grunt but what they do have is off-road prowess. And we're not talking of putting-a-wheel-over-the-kerb kind of off-roading. We're talking the real deal – slush, muck, grass, rocks, water and a few thousand kilometres of non-existent road. Situations when all that matters is whether your engine can produce that gut churning torque at really low revs.

The Endeavour has always been fantastic off-road and that still hasn't changed. Although it uses a slightly older tech indirect injection turbo-diesel, it isn't as painfully slow as you'd think. It's refined, easy to drive and has sufficient torque to pull through the rough stuff. It's decently equipped too. It packs in ABS, airbags and attitude as standard. The newer and more loaded Special Edition comes with leather seats and a higher quality audio system. With a very old-style and slightly boxy design, the Endeavour exudes a certain macho appeal that the now fairly good-looking Safari cannot match. But the Safari still manages to draw more attention from passers-by. Maybe they're looking to reclaim their life or just plain jealous.

The new Safari Dicor with an engine borrowed from its more utilitarian sibling, the Spacio, is a little disappointing to drive on-road. The common-rail turbo unit isn't too refined and apart from tremendous mid-range grunt – good for overtaking – there's really nothing else to cheer about.

The top-end VX variant comes loaded though. It's got fancy 16” alloys sporting 235/70 R16 rubber, airbags, leather seats, ABS, and an in-dash DVD player with integrated screens in the headrests – so rear passengers don't get bored when being tossed around in the mud. Talking of seats, the Safari still has one of the most comfy rear seats in the segment. And for all of you who dread reversing into a parking slot, the Dicor has an integrated reverse camera in the rear bumper with the screen neatly integrated into the rear view mirror. Nice. But plastic quality and finish on the insides are still disappointing.

But let's talk dirty now. We're talking sloppy brown muck that would leave any two-wheel drive flummoxed. Mud that gets you sliding all over the place. Stuff you would never want to sink your Nikes into. As we wanted to play ball, four-wheel low was engaged and we charged right into the muck.

In the Endeavour you have to do it manually while the Safari has a small rotary switch on the dash that allows you to select four-wheel drive electron-ically. Get into the mushy stuff and things get interesting and well, sticky.

The Endeavour as we discovered has a great approach angle with its short front overhang, but the rear bumper that sticks out ruins things. Climb a steep gradient head-on and the rear bumper will hit or kiss the turf if you aren't careful. And you also have to watch out for the side-steps which are also quite prone to a good scraping. This is thanks to the Endeavour's long wheelbase which gives it a ho-hum ramp breakover angle. That apart, it ploughs through almost anything you throw at it.

Sitting higher in the Safari, with better all-round visibility, navigating the unpaved path is a lot easier. Even though the Safari is quite a bit heavier and has slightly less ground clearance than the Endeavour, it manages to do quite well off-road. With a better ramp-break-over angle and plenty of grunt in the low revs the Safari will happily play in the mud all day. Anyone who has driven the Safari with the older turbo-diesel engine off-road will find that the Dicor engine really does make a big difference to its mud-plugging abilities. Select four-wheel low, stick it into first and as we discovered it will slowly crawl through even the worst of stuff. So does this make it the better SUV of the two? No, not necessarily.

Although both are in a similar price bracket, their buyers will want different things. The Safari will appeal to those who like the smart, smoothened-out looks and goodies that come on the top-end VX. The Endeavour on the other hand, will attract those who love its butch no-nonsense looks and want the superior engineering of Ford. We like both. One for its comforts and equipment, and the other for its solidity and refinement. And we’ll happily go and play ball in the mud with both.

Those puny and rude cabbies also better watch out, we’ve got the power and will not hesitate to unleash the beast. Now you got to decide if want to go by Ford's catch line and be a King or reclaim your life as Tata wants you to!